Point of View

I'll admit that I'm a purist when it comes to POV. When I'm writing from a particular character's point of view, I try to stay there until the scene ends. Modern fiction has become more 'flexible' in this regard and authors slip in and out of various points of view, from one character to another or even to omniscient.

When thinking about character, it helps to think of your character as a camera. What the reader will see, smell, touch, and feel should all be from that character's point of view. The thing to keep in mind as the author is that your character may not always be correct in his or her views and facts, and will certainly not have all the information available to you as the author, or even other characters. Sounds easy enough, but when you are 'writing hot and fast,' it is easy to have spill-over.

As you develop your outline, you should ask yourself, 'From whose point of view do I want to present the scene?'

Take a look at the scene below, presented from the main character's POV and the Number 2 supporting character's POV. Here's the scene setup: Tessie Malone, a nurse by training and profession, is recovering from major surgery… a heart transplant to be exact. She awakes each night to a different murder scene in which she is the killer. She's convinced she is reliving murders committed by her heart donor. But as a nurse, she knows just how impossible this is. The alternative is that she is slowly and steadily losing her mind. Both prospects terrify her.

Before we continue onto the scene, let's talk about the character's name. Everything is done for a reason – even character names which should also evoke impressions. Tessie (a derivative of Teresa) evokes the image of a vulnerable young girl. Teresa is also the name of a saint – also a conscious choice. Malone is just one letter [M] away from alone which is how Tessie Malone feels… alone and vulnerable.

Scene from Tessie's POV…

"Are you Detective Tran?" Tessie asked, willing her hands not to shake. The two cops sitting at the picnic table before her stopped chewing on their sandwiches briefly enough to regard her. The detective to whom she had addressed the question resumed chewing, pausing only long enough to nod with his chin toward the seat opposite him.

"I'm Detective Tran," he said after swallowing and washing it down with a pull from is soda. "You were here yesterday, weren't you?" Tessie felt herself blush and nodded once.

"How can I help you?" Tran asked. She glanced nervously at the other detective who, as if on cue, got up and left.

Tessie had practiced her speech a hundred times, but the polished words had all disappeared. "I wish to report a murder… no. Three murders," she said at last, afraid that the rapid pulse drumming in her ears would drown out the detective's words.

Tran pushed sandwich aside and pulled a small notebook from his jacket pocket. "Did you see the murders?"

"Yes," Tessie said.

"When did they occur?" Tran asked.

"I'm not sure," Tessie said. She felt despair as Tran replaced the notebook into his jacket.

"OK," he said. "Who was murdered?"

"Robert and James Nguyen and a third man," Tessie said. "His first name was Tuan. I don't know his last name."

"How'd they die?" Tran asked.

"I shot them," Tessie said. "Three shots each, one to the body and a double-tap to the head."

"You shot them?" Tran said, stiffening.

"No," Tessie said. "That's not what I meant. I'm not crazy. I'm not." The last came out as a soft wail. She slid a piece of paper across to Tran. "The bodies are in the Port of Long Beach in a cargo container. Here's the number."

"How long have you spoke Vietnamese?" Tran asked. "Your accent and dialect are flawless."

"I don't speak Vietnamese," Tessie said.

Tran smiled. "What language do you think you're speaking now?"

Tessie squealed and leaped up from the bench. "Please go look. You'll see. I'm not crazy."

Now the same scene from Detective Tran's POV…

"She still back there?" Tran nodded once to his partner. "I think she's a whack job. Three days running she stands over there watching us. Gotta be a whacko."

Tran scowled. "We don't what she is, other than distraught. If she doesn't approach us today, I'll go have a chat with her and see what she wants."
"Maybe she wants eat Asian tonight." Tran's partner leered suggestively at him. "Get it? Eat Asian!" John smiled broadly at his crude joke.

"I get it. You can be such a jerk sometimes, John. Did you know that?" John shrugged. "All I'm saying is…" He did not finish the sentence.

"Are you Detective Tran?" the woman asked.

Tran indicated that the woman should take the seat opposite. "I'm Detective Tran," he said after swallowing and washing it down with a pull from is soda. "You were here yesterday, weren't you?" The woman blushed.

"How can I help you?" Tran asked in a pleasant voice that he hoped would help the woman relax. She glanced nervously at his partner. Tran sympathized. He didn't like being around his partner either. He gave his partner a let-me-run-this-one-solo glance and, to his relief, John took the hint and departed.

"How can I help you?" Tran asked once more, careful to keep his tone light and easy.

"I wish to report a murder… no. Three murders." she said.

Tran willed his face and body to remain relaxed. He pushed sandwich aside and pulled a small notebook from his jacket pocket. "Did you see the murders?"

"Yes," Tessie said.

"When did they occur?" Tran asked.

"I'm not sure," Tessie said.

Maybe John was right. Maybe she was a whacko. He closed his notebook and slipped it back into his jacket pocket. "OK," he said. "Who was murdered?"

"Robert and James Nguyen and a third man," Tessie said. "His first name was Tuan. I don't know his last name."

"How'd they die?" Tran asked.

"I shot them," the woman said. "Three shots each, one to the body and a double-tap to the head."

"You shot them?" Tran demanded, unable to retain his calm façade.

"No," Tessie said. "That's not what I meant. I'm not crazy. I'm not."

Maybe, Tran thought, but it's not looking to good from this end. Still, he recognized the names. It was possible the woman was both crazy and telling the truth.

The woman slid a piece of paper across to Tran. She said, "The bodies are in the Port of Long Beach in a cargo container. Here's the number."

"How long have you spoke Vietnamese?" Tran asked. "Your accent and dialect are flawless."

"I don't speak Vietnamese," Tessie said.

Tran smiled. "What language do you think you're speaking now?"

The woman squealed and leaped up from the bench. "Please go look. You'll see. I'm not crazy," she said as she fled the table.

Tran did not bother to pursue her, choosing instead to reflect upon what she had said.

John returned about five minutes after the woman had departed. "Did you get it?"

"Yep," John said. "Teresa Marie Malone. Drives a 2004 Honda Civic with California plates 'SO LATE.' Lives here in Irvine. I got the address. No warrants. No priors. Whack job, right?"

"Maybe," but she speaks Vietnamese apparently without knowing it. "Run it down when we get back."

"Back? Where we going?" John asked.

"Port of Long Beach," Detective Tran said.

"What's in Long Beach?"

"According to Ms. Malone, three of the bangers that are on our pick-up list are in a cargo container there."

"No shit!" John said, staring toward the parking lot where he had followed Teresa Malone to her car.

"No shit," Tran replied. "You know, I've never heard a Caucasian speak Vietnamese the way she did. Had she not been sitting right across from me, I'd have sworn she was from Vietnam. It was weird. Really weird.

"She's a whack job," John said dismissively. "Twenty bucks says there's no container and no bodies."

"You're on," Tran said.
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In the next post I shall discuss the two scenes and the advantages / disadvantages of each.

Happy Writing!

Bob

Any Twilight Fans Out There???

My wife took me to see the film Twilight last night. She’s read all the Twilight series books by Stephenie Meyer and wanted to ‘share.’ Since we live in Washington’s Olympic Peninsula, it was easy to drive to Port Angeles to see the film and have a pre-movie dinner at Bella Italia, a restaurant featured in the movie. Cool!

I ordered the Mushroom Ravioli which was simply incredible. Imagine my surprise when I found out that this very dish was served in the movie scene at the restaurant. Spooky!

Now that I’m well fed and happy, let’s talk a bit about the storytelling in Twilight. Remember, one our first ‘rules’ of writing. Put your character in danger and keep (in this case) her there. Ms. Meyer (and the film’s director) do a great job of this.

WARNING, if you have plans to see the film or read the book, best to stop here. Plot spoilers follow.

First – Bella discovers that the boy she is totally in love with is a vampire. I think this qualifies as serious danger, don’t you? By electing to continue the relationship, she places herself (not to mention her immortal soul) in even more danger.

Second – Walking along a deserted street at night, Bella finds herself surrounded by thugs and in a possible rape situation. Enter the sullen, brooding, highly protective, (and, according to wife-mate) very good looking) Edward to the rescue. So, we’ve got emotional, physical and ‘mortal’ danger all in play.

Third – Bella gets invited to meet Edward’s family and to join a game of ‘family’ baseball during a rainstorm. (A fun scene.)

Not all of Edward’s extended family are thrilled with Bella’s presence and a couple are continually giving her ‘I-think-I’d-rather-just-drink-your-blood' looks. I suspect vampires are not terribly keen on having a personal relationship with a potential food source. Anyway, more threat. More danger. The author is doing a great job.

Fourth – A group of non-vegetarian vampires arrives on the scene and one decides that he must have Bella “for a snack.” This plot twist kicks off a fierce chase, the inevitable battle between Edward and the non-vegan vampire. The ‘bad’ vampire is vanquished, but at the end of the film, we find that the bad vampire’s hunting partner is stalking Bella and Edward. I just know there’s gonna be another movie, don’t you? (Note: A vegetarian vampire is one that only drinks non-human animal blood.)

I was impressed with the film’s handling of danger. Hard to imagine anything more dangerous than a love affair with a vampire -- even a vegan-vampire, but Ms. Meyer escalates the dramatic tension nicely, thus illustrating that you can start at a high danger point and continue to escalate that danger as the book progresses.

So, here is your assignment. Go see Twilight. Go have dinner at Bella Italia in Port Angeles, WA. Drive over to Forks and enjoy the beautiful scenery of this lovely rainforest area. Have fun and keep a lookout for our local colony of vampires.

Happy Writing!

The Sleeper Must Awaken!

Regardless of whether you choose to publish your work, or even complete it, writing can be its own reward. There is a great line from the novel, Dune, by Frank Herbert. "The sleeper must awaken."

This is what writing does for me. It awakens the senses and encourages me to pay more attention to what is going on around me. I find myself continually looking for bits and pieces of life that can add spice and realism to my fictional characters.

Example: I was recently at a ho-hum cocktail party with a friend who hails from Alabama. Dan speaks with a lovely, sing-song Southern drawl and peppers his speech with all sorts of colorful Southern sayings.

We were standing behind a tall and attractive red-head. We could not help but overhear her tell her companion for the evening that she was 'twenty-eight'. (She looked much younger.) Her comment caused Dan to spin about and say to her, "You ain't done it!"

Now, for you non-Southerners, Dan's statement roughly translates to, "I can't believe you're twenty-eight." But I digress.

The young woman turned around, regarded Dan for a few, quiet seconds, and then replied, "I've done it lot's of times." She then dismissed the interruption by turning around, having completely destroyed my friend, and resuming her conversation with her companion. It was a classic jaw-drop moment. Dan was literally speechless. For almost an entire week, I would often find Dan staring off into space and muttering, "I shoulda had a comeback." Indeed he should have.

The moment was comedic, memorable and excellent example of verbal swordplay. Think about the possible responses the woman could have made:

"Excuse me, but I wasn't speaking with you." (True, but boring.)
"Oh, yes. I am, too, twenty-eight." (Also boring.)
"Hi, I don't believe we've met. My name is ___." (I'm sure Dan would have much preferred this response.)

What I remember most about the woman was her serene confidence, her wicked humor and her quick intellect. If reduced to film, most of us in the room would have been captured in 'forgettable' grey scale, black and white. This woman, however, came across in memorable, full, 3-D color. I want my major characters to be like her. Commanding. Interesting. Bold.

Happy Writing!

Bob